God: The Ultimate Atheist?

 The Almighty’s Existential Crisis Amidst Humanity’s Atrocities



In a surprising turn of events, sources close to the divine have revealed that God, the omnipotent and omniscient creator of the universe, is currently grappling with a crisis of faith. Insiders report that the Almighty has been questioning His own existence in light of the numerous atrocities committed by humanity throughout history.

“It’s been a tough few millennia for the Big Guy,” said one angel, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “He’s been watching humans wage wars, commit genocides, and engage in all sorts of unspeakable acts, all while claiming to do so in His name. It’s enough to make anyone question their purpose.”

Sources say that God has been spending an increasing amount of time in His heavenly chambers, poring over philosophical texts and engaging in deep introspection. “He’s been reading a lot of Nietzsche lately,” said another insider. “We’re starting to worry that He might be losing His faith in Himself.”

The news has sent shockwaves throughout the religious community, with many wondering what it means for the future of their beliefs. “If God doesn’t believe in Himself, what are the rest of us supposed to do?” asked one concerned worshipper.

Some theologians have suggested that God’s apparent existential crisis may be a sign of His infinite wisdom and compassion. “Perhaps this is God’s way of empathizing with the struggles and doubts of His creation,” said one scholar. “By questioning His own existence, He is showing us that it’s okay to grapple with the big questions of life.”

Others, however, are less optimistic. “If God has lost faith in Himself, what hope is there for the rest of us?” lamented one disillusioned believer.

As of press time, God was unavailable for comment, with sources reporting that He was last seen wandering the heavens, muttering to Himself about the absurdity of it all. While the ultimate outcome of this divine crisis remains uncertain, one thing is clear: even the creator of the universe is not immune to the existential angst that plagues so many of His creations.

[Article written by A. N. Other, a freelance journalist with a penchant for the absurd and a deep fascination with the mysteries of the universe.]

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